Someone very smart and very intimidating recently told me that – You have to love yourself for who you are and not be apologetic for your existence. Same old gyan. But it stuck and got me thinking.
As we have trudged our way to young adulthood we have been fed concepts on similar lines time and again. Pop culture, media or the new age gurus –they all have the same old banter. However, the question I pose is – Why is it so difficult for the vast majority of us to simply accept ourselves the way we are? Be it good, bad or ugly.
Turns out, the urban legends about the Placements’ Week are all true. It is the ideal petri dish for the cells of self doubt to multiply. As I sat in that room – packed with the kind of energy that I had never experienced before, I couldn’t help but wonder – why is it so taxing for us to dissociate our sense of worth from our achievements? Just imagine a world where that would not be the case. A world where being yourself isn’t a political or radical statement. Where the sense of self is rooted in something that deeply thrives in our systems and is not dependent on certain external circumstances. Would that not be a good life to live?
But I digress. So just like those new age gurus that I despise so much, I too shall dedicate this note to those of us who have a hard time accepting ourselves and pointlessly chase some glorified projected image.
I concede that I am all for excellence and in no way am I against the over achievers – the type A’s of the world. But this note is not for them. It is for those of us who live under imaginary self constructed boundaries and refuse to even acknowledge them.
We must first be comfortable with who we are and what we are irrespective of what we lack and only then must we attempt to get better. The constant negative self-talk that we have with ourselves manifests itself in each and every thing that we do. That critic in our head is not our friend. Not surprisingly, it affects men and women differently. That monster needs to be silenced and we need to somehow accept that we are lot more than our careers and social status.
The sole purpose of this rant is to tell you – when things do not work out for you, that voice inside your mind should not wonder what is wrong with you and feed you bizarre answers. That voice should instead try to figure out what needs to be done to fix things. You have to train it to be patient, loving, kind and compassionate towards you. It shall take time and a lot of effort but eventually you will be the person who is your own best friend.